‘Do you want to leave a violent marriage?’
What a question, but it has to be addressed so as to get your attention.
You may not even know you’re in a violent marriage, it’s only when you hear or see certain things that you realise what you are living may not be correct. Or when you see other forms of violence, you get that wrenching feeling in your gut.
Be assured that I am here to help you. I can give you tools that will enable you to get stronger and stronger, not physically – you can go to the gym for that – but giving mental tools to get into your power and see that this is NOT normal, and that it is not your fault. What gives me the right to talk about this? Well let’s listen to my story…
I was born in France and lived there until I was 5 where I left a snowy Paris for a sunny California – mind blowing stuff for sure. I spent my time in the dentists chair or swimming in the pool on the roof of a high rise building-wow. 6 months later back in Paris for a short while – maybe 2 months before we head off for England. I was 6 and started at the local school. I then ended up in one of the top schools in the country – they had just started accepting girls in the 6th form (High School/Lycée) where I was to be “brought down a notch or two”!! So yes very tough times but so life forming. I was also with the crème de la crème of the English aristocracy, and the diplomats too – great connections made.
When I left school, many pony rides and gymkhanas later, many lives lived too 😉 I had a university degree in pocket and a very naive way of seeing the world and left all these societal links thinking I could catch them again whenever I so wanted to.
My parents had just moved to USA Washington DC and this seemed like the place to be – so off I went leaving the rest to the wind…
I got a job at Club Med working with the children in the Bahamas. Wow. So I met my husband in Eleuthera, Bahamas both of us working there, he as the plumber of the village and his quarters was always where the party was happening.
Our contract ended and we travelled round the States for a while, down to Mexico and before I knew it back to France – do not pass go, do not collect £200….
And there I met his friends and family….. There had been a lot of “dope” in Paris over this period and their word dope is not ours. Suffice to say the seedy areas were we would go left me very scared and dismayed.
I was married to a man for 27 years and in the beginning it was really fun, and we were besotted with each other and very passionate. We lived in Paris, France having fun and travelling getting to more and more exotic places. we ended up spending 9 months in Asia, 7 of them in China – pretty amazing times.
He started his business, plumbing and heating, and we started a family. Those were child rearing years for the two of us, him with his business and me with the family. Four children later and a booming business we make the decision to go to rural lands and quit the capital.
So here we are in the big house, huge garden just 10 mins away from the Atlantic Ocean and 1-2 hours from the ski slopes of the Pyrenees, in the biggest pine forest of Western Europe. Heaven right? That’s when the shit hit the fan….
Things had not been going so well, the children were in really dire times in school, they too were getting pushed around, although I thought this was being counterbalanced with the extra curricular activities: horse riding; tennis; football; dance; gym; music school; Yu-Gi-Oh tournaments…. Money was tight and I got a call to do some factory work. I was not, I admit looking forward to this but I knew if I refused T would be mad and more importantly I would be sending bad vibes to the universe. So I grit my teeth and off I went. T had to come home and pick the kids up from school as I started at 16.00 I would finish at 24.00 He was ok with taking care of the children, he had done it many a time and I thought he would be proud that I was working!
I started working in the freezing cold sorting out diced carrots. I was warned it would be cold so I dressed up accordingly, but I still froze! Words fail me and let’s just leave it at that. I came home to a dark house, whereas before T never went to bed before 2, 3am here he was in bed early and as we were on very bad terms I just fell asleep in the sofa watching TV having a last cigarette….
I heard the alarm clock at 5am. T just let it ring and ring and I just screamed ‘Your f**king alarm clock turn it off!!’
T came storming out the room and I was on the couch – that was the first time he hit me, again and again and …………
I ran away once and anther time again but the children would look at me all those 8 little eyes and say ‘What about Dad???’ for they knew not (or so I thought but they had witnessed one or two times….)
It got to the stage where I put on weight to just hide behind and lessen the blows possibly. It got worse and worse but I was never so bad as to go to the hospital, and it was always my fault – right?
To gain some independence I had to work, living in the most rural area of France and only factory work available I turned to multilevel marketing MLM. I worked hard, claimed the ladder, got us into debt and had the house looking like a permanent HOM (Home Opportunity Meeting), I was recruiting fast and loosing the recruits faster, going to all events Nationally and in Europe!
This left T in charge of the children – for he was unemployed for the first time in his life and on the unemployment benefit, and I was allowed to run my mlm business.
Needless to say this got us nowhere fast and I had to look for a way to pay off this debt. I started looking online found an amazing opportunity and signed up. Part of this company’s modules was self development. So I started to get tools to help ME.
It is these tools that I would like to share with you, enabling you to gain your power, your core being’s power. Once you have these you will become stronger and stronger and one day you will leave the broken you behind – trust me it is possible.
This is broken down into bite size pieces:
We must take control of us;
We see things we should not;
We master tools and take control.
Here the vibrational status is addressed and an inventory can be made. Simple tactics to get you to start vibrating gently at a higher level.
So you have ‘seen’ things that are not totally normal and must be addressed… Beware wobbly, wobbly and forwards we go. There the next vibrational level is attained – that was not so bad as I thought, next level?!
Well so now some tools are mastered and levels busted, wow that was scary and how does that feel? So good to be on the other side, right? As if you are vibrating at a higher level! You can do it, you have done it once now,
DO IT AGAIN. or as we say in our jargon RINSE AND REPEAT