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What is the EMDR?

Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) is a psychotherapy developed by Francine Shapiro that emphasizes disturbing memories as the cause of psychopathology. It is used to help with the symptoms of post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD -She speculated that traumatic events “upset the excitatory/inhibitory balance in the brain, causing a pathological change in the neural elements”.[36]). Highly recommended for divorce patients for this is a once off (hopefully) trauma and it can be treated with just a couple of sessions (4-5) whereas a therapy in psychoanalysis goes on for years. 

Benefits of EMDR

The beneficial effects of EMDR are powerful, cross cultural and effective in adults and children (great for a divorce!). Common psychological, physiological and social parameters are taken into account in EMDR psychotherapy. The question is what can we learn, explain and design for a better understanding of the efficiency and the mechanisms involved in the EMDR protocol.


EMDR eye movement

EMDR eye movement

EMDR Therapy – for after a divorce?

What I find amazing about this therapy is that I could chose a clinical psychologist that was specialised for me – and others like me – a high IQ individual! This is so exciting for our brains are wired differently and we need to have someone that can help us, so the first time I used EMDR was for my child, when the eldest was going through a freak out after 4 years of heavy beating from his collège peers. He had done some counseling with ‘normal’ psychologists but to no avail and in fact when I went to see them “Mum I can never get a word in!!” the same happened to me and I went nuts saying how outrageous I thought it was that some one like that could even be labeled a psychologist! I now understand why we can never be treated psychologically by others that are not trained for us 😉  but we are just “normal people”

 So with the EMDR Therapy…

I personally was very happy with the results I obtained. I would talk normally to my analyst and occasionally she would stop and asked me how did I feel about that?

andTo make it clearer, let’s use a real life example:

I’d like to discuss the first time T hit me. To cut a long story a little shorter I was sleeping on the sofa. I had just done my first day as a factory worker in the freezing cold (0°C to – 30°C / -22°F) 8 hour shift sorting out carrot cubes (frozen) returning home at midnight to a cold house(winter – fire gone out) and as we were not on best terms I just laid down in the sofa – yes to make a point!  When his alarm went off at 5 am (why???) and he was not turning it off or getting up, it kept beeping, ringing ‘Oh for god’s sake your alarm clock T!’

He came out of that room a different person, I can barely describe his features, his allure but I was shit scared and cornered. He laid into me and as this was the first time I can’t begin to describe how I felt, how the blows kept coming and how I just curled up in my blanket stunned, physically and emotionally.







we would make our chairs get closer and as I described the event in question, she would make me follow her fingers with my eyes and the pain would move up my body. At chakra points until eventually it would just leave and I would feel so happy

CatPayen. Founder.

Cat Payen. Founder at

I am dedicated to bring you value, techniques, tools and mentor you to have a delightfully divorced life. Divorce is final, and even though my own story is probably different to yours we as mothers first and foremost have to bounce back. I suffered domestic abuse, and although it takes two to tango, I fell really low and deep. But you can see videos about that for now I am out and about applying these and I have found the way to freedom - for me. I am a digital strategist extraordinaire, quite visionary really and this gives me vomph to my step, bounces me out of bed so as to serve you all better. I love my digital life style and would love for you to experience the community, camaraderie, and cutting edge marketing techniques. The one thing I found very helpful about the community is that it allows me to be me, in all my authenticity and dynamic, where at the worst of my life, here I could just be. No pretence not a mask to put on just be. The fact that we help each other means that there were always times I felt good about myself too. So apart from all these tools that I have gained in the process of getting myself aware of the situation I was in - domestic violence - was probably the single most important factor. But you too have got there if you are reading this, so now lets move you forwards and onwards.  Look, I would love for you to meet my mentors, or perhaps you would prefer an explanation of the system via a webinar? Just hit the links or skype me.