How Long Does It Take To Get Over A Divorce?
How Long Does It Take To Get Over A Divorce?
Being unique individuals it is a hard task to answer how long it really takes to get over a divorce. As each marriage is different, we all come with our expectations on ourselves and the other, and of course we each come with our baggage from the past and what our parent’s marriage was like.
There are however various factors that come into play into determining how long it takes to get over a divorce and are as follows:
- Person’s age will determine how long it takes to get over the divorce;
- Person’s financial situation is so important in determining how long it takes to get over the divorce;
- The length of that marriage is so important and will determine how long it takes to get over the divorce;
- The degree of fidelity within the couple will determine how long it takes to get over the divorce;
- Other family members will determine how long it takes to get over the divorce;
- Seeing the other partner in a new relationship…oh la la this for sure will determine how long it takes to get over the divorce;
- One very important factor also is
- The legal procedures during the divorce itself (some really nasty scars are left here!)….. for this surely will determine how long it takes to get over the divorce;
How long does it take to get over the divorce the statistics and figures that are out on the internet date from about 2010 so I did not think it wise to put them down as seriously six years is a long time (a married life to some!!). Suffice to say that the degree of time and energy needed, to divorce alone is huge, be warned, so the time it takes to get over it depends on the energy spent! And even if you may be at hell’s door right now, soul searching time, it is going to get better – not much help right? Not what you really need, eh? But even if I told you:
with respect to your time of marriage, the number of children, the financial stress, the religious implications all in number of days divided by n-2 = a given # of days to be over it would you believe me?! Probably not and if you got over it before the set date – am I really over it? Is this right? Can I be over it before the due date? See nothing is clear cut 🙂
Here is some meaningful news to help you determine the length of time it will take you to get over your divorce:
There are 7 major emotions that need to be addressed by each and every one of the divorcees.
1. Shock and Denial - reaction to the news of the loss by numbed disbelief;
2. Pain and Guilt - As #1 wares off tis replaced by this one!! Unbelievably painful.
3. Anger and Bargaining - Frustration/Anger tow-ing and fro-wing!
4. ‘Depression’, Reflection - ‘Now get on with your life’ your friends will tell you but the reflection you’ve had is sad, so sad that you go down the rabbit hole of depression in a more or lesser state! Friends should encourage you to mourn your loss enabling you to get over it.
5. Loneliness - Again learn to love yourself and loneliness is not upon you. You will start to adjust to life alone and physical symptoms lessen, lifting you also out of #4 above 🙂
6. Reconstruction and Pushing On Through
- Your mind is working again and you re-become a solution orientated person (tis a natural state when all is well).
7. Acceptance and Hope - In this stage of the grief model accepting what is becomes the name of the game. Responsibility, forgiveness (does not necessarily mean pardon) and if your truly over it then you can revert back to the person you were before the marriage, as mine was a violent one, it was a relief to be able to do so, to be able to learn that I am worthy of love, peace and I am all love and laughter.
To the question how long it really takes to get over a divorce? A Doctor wrote ‘Responses to this question range from ‘a few months’ to “you never get over it.” Most people get back on their feet so to speak in a year. By 3-5 years the following comments are heard, “I’m back in control of my life again”; “I can now talk about my divorce without crying”; “I can finally get on with my life again”; “the bitterness is gone now”; “I’ve stopped wanting to kill him (her)”; “It was horrible, I’m a different person now than I was then”.
Here is an answer though…
Go and start meditating – I have this guided meditation that I do every morning and as it is guided Vishen Lakhiani of Mindvalley talks you through it. My head was in too much turmoil to have me even think about sitting silently for 20 minutes to ‘clear my mind’ and be happier afterwards!!! So go to this page for the explanations and downloads 😉
My why is to bring joy and honour to you, so that you may shine and know you are worthy of peace.
Having gone from a violent relationship (27 years) to single Mum with 4 children, I worked hard. The mind is everything and without a good mindset you can do nothing of value.
I now run my own business, have my own workshops, create my own products and live the life I make for myself. It really all took shape when I met Jay and Stuart. Twas a blessing that I would wish on every single person who is in any violence.