Overcoming fear of divorce
How can you overcome the fear of your divorce? The last time you were alone was probably during your teens, or up to your marriage (or dating with your to be husband). And that was so long ago… Right?!
So of course you are faced with this overcoming fear of divorce and because you are so changed now, you are such a different person than then! So not only is your body dealing with the break up of a relationship and all that encumbers but with it comes the DIVORCE word and if that was not enough you then have lawyers, grandparents (possibly) and other well meaning family members, children and this is what makes divorce the worst thing in the world whilst at the same time making it the best thing in the world!!! The easiest for the children, so it has been stated and I corroborate this, if you can be civil, courteous, generous up to even having your ex-spouse for coffee then things get better for the children, the father may even get implicated in their education other than school fees (even if that remains very important!).
Overcoming fear is one thing and of divorce is huge.
And how do you start the divorce machine….
Once it is started – BLANK that you don’t know – how to live with ME???? Me and my children???
There will be progresses and processes that you must go through – be prepared to go through too.
- Overcoming the fear of divorce means that you must first of course deal with the guilt, shame and blame game!
- Overcoming the fear of divorce includes after that the grieving and getting over those stages to finally
- Overcoming the fear of divorce stepping out into the light in your full potential 😉
Overcoming the fear of divorce – guilt, shame and blame game.
Guilt comes in many forms and the more you live in this energy the harder it is to get out of your current situation. Guilt is the lowest form of vibrational energy and so you will have to really get some momentum from somewhere, or attach yourself to something that is bigger than your current situation. I was in this vibrational phase of guilt and my life was a shambles! I know I said that for the children people should just NOT divorce but seriously it was so painful for me and our relationship was shit at best that all those years I fear (haha) I was not a good Mother at all.
Shame has synonymous relationship with guilt and yes I often felt ashamed, just thinking about how I was, brings a pain in the pit of my stomach, really. It is one thing to feel shame as a child, you are learning but as an adult… So how to get over that stage? Overcoming the fear of divorce means that you start to overcome this guilt and shame and start to love yourself. This happened for me when I was writing an article (cf catpayen.com) and I was explaining that the oxygen mask must be put on yourself FIRST. That you could not serve your clients with anything until you loved your product and that starts with YOU!
Blame game for if you point one finger at some -one or thing- you have five pointing back at you! So forgiveness must start with that not blaming and taking full responsibility for your actions… (whole other topic)
Overcoming the fear of divorce and the grieving phase.
As all this is explained in the article here I shall just touch on it 😉 There are 5 phases to grieving and unless you are prepared to face your demons head on, you can skirt, get around it but unless you pass through to the other side you shall not conquer it and leave it behind.
Overcoming the fear of divorce and using your full potential!
This is bound to happen if you have got momentum to get out of the low vibrations of guilt, shame, anguish through the forgiveness phases via the blame and shame game and then now you are on the other side, you can but shine!
Get your self esteem back – quick video here below.
Even just looking at this one can tell that the bottom energies are not the best ones to have… Unfortunately most people start here at shame! To face your shame it takes five times the amount of vibrational energy to face your fear than to feel shame – opting for the easy route?! Because I studied chemistry, atoms, molecules, how they intertwine to make you move, walk, talk, be…. I can relate to this type of theory for every atom vibrates at a certain frequency. Water for example can be solid (low vibrational state) and the more you heat it the higher the vibrational energy via water – giving hydroelectric power – to the gaseous state steam – movement of locomotives! We all have a change of mood during the full moon and the moon is known for it’s effects on tides… So energy and vibrations just are a part of my life and I have always studied them. First in rather scientific terms and now in esoteric ones which are coming back to science via quantum physics!
So atoms vibrate, vibrations make frequencies, frequencies make waves, waves make light, sounds, make bonds – keeps the atoms together forming molecules, forming shapes forming physical things you can touch – metal (natural) and glass (anthropic/made by humans), weapons, machines, robots, rockets, paints…..
But what does go on in the brain?
How do these electrical impulses passing from one nerve to the other make anything happen? Where do emotions come from? Out of nowhere we get this idea, and from this idea we get thoughts, which become an action which make your idea real. This is how you feel and how your thoughts become real they vibrate at a resonance giving a certain frequency….
So how do you build yourself up?
Self esteem and self love is the only way…
https://delightfullydivorced.com/Ultimate -From Shame to Enlightenment- Consciousness/#
Are you allowing violence in your life? Here’s Why?
Did you ever think that you create from nothing? Well that is not strictly true. A creation comes from an image, which becomes a thought which becomes an action.
We never have an action which is not congruent with what we believe, and this was something that I could not understand. Why on earth would I let this violence in? Why even choose it? No, it must be me the innocent victime and he was just taking it out on me…
We Create Our Reality, So You Chose Violence.
Understanding the basics of energy vibrations and how it relates to us.
Let me state that every atom vibrates at a certain frequency. This in turn will give a certain energy resonance.
(This is a basic interpretation obviously – as a chemist please forgive me if I diverge and get complicated 😉 ).
Understanding the resonance to emotions.
Every element and thus atom, has its own resonance, a little like a finger print. Energy in motion = emotion. That is the simplest way of explaining it. Thus low frequencies thus low vibrations give rise to lowly feelings : guilt; shame; blame; fear and so on whereas high frequencies give high vibrational frequencies: acceptance; reason; love; joy; peace; gratitude and so on to enlightenment.
So as if to be in a bad way was not bad enough the more garbage we tell ourselves the worst off we get, as we are feeding the negative side of the energy or the lower vibrational frequency if you prefer 😉 Below you can see the emotions and the alpha point is the worst place possible! There are contracting energy levels and emotional states such as guilt, shame, as low as 20, 30 with apathy at 50 and fear at 100…
What is interesting to note is that anger (150) is higher up the vibrational scale than fear (100) and that one has to find courage, move through Neutrality & Willingness to get to Acceptance (350). We can and should take the time to look at this image for it is the result of years of work by Dr Hawkins.
The absolute minimum place to start vibrating at to get any higher and be in a state of flow is love 500… 🙂
So how does this relate you your current situation?
If you are reading this article it means you have begun your evolutionary journey along the ultimate consciousness ladder – and well done by the way. You may have been in a violent relationship thus vibrating at a low frequency, I was when I started at shame. Being in this vibration does not allow you to have any other action in your life but that which leads you to the frequency you resonate with at that given time.
Thus yes you chose to let this violence into your life so as to fulfil the “prophecy” of meriting this shame…
But enough of that for now we have grown up the ladder a lot and this is where it gets to be fun. This is also why I believe we have to separate and get divorced to break free of those emotions for good. So really if you are here I can’t congratulate you enough.
Now things get somewhat more complicated before coming out the other end… But the end of the tunnel is in sight 😀
To get to the outside world you need support, love and comprehension from people who have no judgement, who do not know your story and are just there to give support.
I was extremely lucky for I moved towns in fact I moved area all together! From a county village to a town with 800,000 inhabitants that had been English and that was just booming. So no longer in my French bickering, low energy village, but the upbeat town of Bordeaux.
I knew no one, I was lost but I was free. I had the community of love and support online. These people were just oozing love, and the mentorship was second to none, the webinars every night if I chose it. Yes I needed to be plugged in, for sure. I needed to just help someone – on the community site – with some small detail about their autoresponders, their landing pages or their mind set and I was a heroine! I needed that to boost my self confidence, to be working on some project that I WAS WORTHY OF really helped me see it through.
So this is what I offer you right now – you too can be part of the community where we call each other “more than family”, where we all vibrate at a minimum of acceptance, where we are all on the same journey of ultimate consciousness striving to reach the next step. Every one is so much willing to help the other it is ridiculous if you look at it from the outside, but on the inside it is warm, immediate radiation of love, hope, and gratitude.
Once you get to vibrate at this level your heart is full, your soul at peace and you can get fulfilment for you are now helping others.
If this sounds like something you could do with right now, work hard and get rewards beyond what you imagined possible then I shall invite you to our loving community. Please click here http://springIT.ninja/welcometothesfm
David Foster Wallace goes into depth with this simple poignant story of a white collar worker.
Such is the story of many a person…
It starts everyday again and again:
- alarm clock
- unhealthy lunch on the go
- TV brain dead session
Learn How To Be Extra-ordinary
This is the cycle of so many people!
Have you seen yourself in the schema?
I personally I never ever wanted to jump on this merry go round, but I had no idea where else I could go… Are you on the merry go round?
Do you see how this cycle may come upon you, without you realising it anyway… Without you counting the days, turning into years before you can really see it happening?
And then before you know it you are hanging onto that bar for your sanity… Some days you are literally crying before you ever get out of bed!!
Looking up, looking anywhere and it’s all the same… You can’t breathe
As you try to breathe in and breathe out – the blurriness comes slightly into focus…
It looks the same form above as below, where ever you are on the ladder of success…..
OH NO! How do I get off, get out of this life that I am currently in? Is there no way out?
Your head and your heart begin to pound and pound…
How to really get off once and forall…
To do this you have to change the above routine… This is hard YES because you have to detach yourself from the “comfort” of what seems to be the norm, the comfort of what had been told to you since forever,
- Get a job
- work hard
- have kids
- get a house
- have more kids
- work hard till the end………
Now How to seriously change this routine???
To change how you view things you must rewire your brain… The easiest way to do this is via meditation. Slowly and surely you will change the way you see things and that jumping off is not that scary really. That you can see beauty in everything, be grateful for the smallest of details that before you were oblivious to. For example:
- During the queue in the checkout just contemplate the stillness around you, be grateful that you can buy food, that the supermarket is open, that your car works, that you can read quietly here, that you can have the chance to smile and giggle with the cashier make their day worth while;
- During the rush hour you can listen to an audiobook, podcast, catch up on just quick thigh, eye movement exercises… of all sorts! You may even thank the traffic to enable you to park further away and walk the rest of the way;
- Grateful for the lunch break to go out and touch a tree (hugging a tree, especially an oak (Quercus) is very beneficial), run around the block to oxygenate yourself, try a completely new restaurant that serves soups, veggie food, lebanese falafels…
- Gratitude to turn off the TV a little earlier (or altogether would be a good thing 😉 and getting in the meditation for rest, catching up on your sports mag, new book…
There are just a few examples of how you can jump off the merry go round whilst still in the corporate job, the next step would be ideally to find a way out of the corporate rat race.
How gain better understanding of the new business era?
This again takes a lot of effort on the part of the person doing the research – YOU! Ii was in your shoes not so long ago and yes to think that you can make a living from a digital perspective is daunting. And fear not, everything is explained in this website I made especially, so as you can make an informed decision about it all. I can guarantee you this: it will change your life, perhaps not financially at first, if like me you need some mindset work done initially 😉 but afterwards there is no limit to what you can accomplish, save the limits you impose on yourself! So go out now and be extra-ordinary.
Pardon does not mean Forgiveness…
Again everything I have learned stems from the Ultimate Consciousness. As I go up the ladder of conscious evolution I realise that to be, I must concentrate on myself and not on any body else. I had the good fortune to be doing the 6 Phase Meditation every day and part 3 is forgiveness so I was actively doing that part as best I could… ANd if you are not yet meditating I suggest you think on it very hard as to why not!
Why Pardon? That person did me wrong…
There are many reasons why you know or have heard of that you should pardon, religious ones for sure, the one I remembered from my childhood was that Jesus said to stop the Jewish way of ‘an eye for an eye… and give the other cheek’, why? I know not!
My sister also said to me – ‘Well you just can’t separate on a bad word. Imagine they die and that’s the last thing they hear from you! I know I could never forgive myself!’
So I have a sort of firesty nature and younger would be fast on the verbal reaction lever but equally fast on the lever to say ‘Oh please forgive me, I am so sorry.’ so as not to be left with a bad memory should they die… And I felt better quicker too 😉
As I follow Vishen Likhiani at Mindvalley I learn as he does and his latest course ‘Become Limitless’ is the summary of 10 years of study and is absolutely amazing and this forgiveness part came greatly from his experience in the 40 years of Zen program. You can read the experience Vishen had here and he also gives a very precise methodology so go ahead and read it and try it. You then become :
And that’s a lovely feeling!