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Why you should consider EMDR therapy?

What is the EMDR?

Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) is a psychotherapy developed by Francine Shapiro that emphasizes disturbing memories as the cause of psychopathology. It is used to help with the symptoms of post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD -She speculated that traumatic events “upset the excitatory/inhibitory balance in the brain, causing a pathological change in the neural elements”.[36]). Highly recommended for divorce patients for this is a once off (hopefully) trauma and it can be treated with just a couple of sessions (4-5) whereas a therapy in psychoanalysis goes on for years. 

EMDR – In layman terms…

During a normal day your nice and not so nice events go from the conscious to the subconscious during the rapid eye movement part of sleep. Here your subconscious can sort it all out and deal with it as it should be. When you have a traumatic event the brain puts it in a draw, as it were, and keeps it closed – the conscious part. Any time there is a memory, a smell, a colour, a taste that reminds you of the event you quickly open the draw and stuff it in there- the draw will get overload and you will not know how to cope – the conscious part of the brain is not competent in that! So you become even more touchy, irate, basically raw. For the brain to open up that draw and pass it to the competent subconscious to treat the information as it should be it is very complexe… A trained psychologist can do this – note I did not say psychiatrist and years of analysis!

the french painter 'the magic finger'1780

the french painter ‘the magic finger’1780

EMDR – My own experience …

I personally have been in analysis before and one very important factor needed to be taken into account… The way the brain functions!!! So for me the fact that I am high IQ is not for any other sake I say this, save that the brain functions very differently. We have arborescent thoughts to start with – we jump from one place to the other in our train of thoughts ie along the journey from A to B we will stop at every possible station before arriving which some other person would just go from A to B… and sometimes we can not grab our fast thoughts so just stop in mid sentence. These are just some traits of high IQ people and when dealing with the brain highly important to know – but the psychiatrists are not trained for this unless they go into specific training for it (generally because they are high IQ too!). So I have been was treated for things that had nothing to do with me per se, and not treated for other things that did.

SO EMDR in a session…

So I would sit there and talk and when something important came up then she would just say to me ‘Where do you feel the pain?’ ‘On which part of the body do you feel it?’ We would then get our chairs close together and putting 2 fingers up in front of my eyes she would say ‘Ok, now follow my fingers’ as she would sweep them left to right, right to left… about 5 times or maybe up to 10, I was not counting, then she would bring her fingers down in front of my nose… ‘Take a deep breath in and out. So now where do you feel the pain?’ This process, of finger “sweeping” goes on until the pain disappears – for me it started anywhere from the hips, to the belly button, to the heart, to the throat and out it would go….  So we do it about 5 times till the pain subsides.

Yeah right, EMDR does that?!

One very clear example that comes always to mind is the first time my husband got violent with me. The details are very vivid and clear and I never understood why he hit me.  So during the finger movements, just before the pain left my body, she asked me ‘How would you have liked it to go?’ ‘Well that he sits down besides me and we talk, rather than him hitting me on the sofa where I was quite defenceless!!’  And one last finger “waggle” and the pain was gone. For a long time (about 18 months) after that session this was how I recalled the incident – he came at me but we sat and talked – knowing it did not happen like so but just somehow relieved I could think like this – having an empty draw was delightful 🙂  I was learning to readjust consciously to knowing this is not what happened but not being able to change the way I now saw it, whilst feeling I was digesting and processing the information, at a subconscious level!! It is just now that I am able to write and witness both the scenes simultaneously without any judgement, pain or feelings (24 months on), but since the session I have been delivered of a burden for sure.  You see I have seen so many questions on Facebook, or in fact suggest EMDR to people who have undergone some traumatic experience that I came back to this blog post to refer people to it and had to rewrite it – thus I can see the difference between conscious and subconscious – so thank you Facebook readers for allowing me to witness this change in me 🙂 I share this particular incident to make a point rather than to gain sympathy, hoping that if you are reading this that you would seriously consider having a couple of sessions to see the benefits for yourself – knowing that EMDR has immediate rewards – freeing the conscious mind is getting lighter physically (somehow) whilst the subconscious takes time to process all this data and the finality may take longer (but it matters not – you don’t know the difference really!)

Benefits of EMDR

The beneficial effects of EMDR are powerful, cross cultural and effective in adults and children (who are in great need of EMDR  during, after the divorce!). Common psychological, physiological and social parameters are taken into account in EMDR psychotherapy. The question is what can we learn, explain and design for a better understanding of the efficiency and the mechanisms involved in the EMDR protocol.
EMDR eye movement

EMDR eye movement

EMDR Therapy – for after a divorce?

I consider this to be vital for the children actually. It has been 3 years since I separated and they all want to do the EMDR now.

 So with the EMDR Therapy…

I personally was am very happy with the results I obtained using EMDR therapy, it is clean, quick and highly efficient!

Please consider EMDR therapy for you and your children.

I found this highly explanatory too 🙂

CatPayen. Founder.

Cat Payen. Founder at

I am dedicated to bring you value, techniques, tools and mentor you to have a delightfully divorced life. Divorce is final, and even though my own story is probably different to yours we as mothers first and foremost have to bounce back. I suffered domestic abuse, and although it takes two to tango, I fell really low and deep. But you can see videos about that for now I am out and about applying these and I have found the way to freedom - for me. I am a digital strategist extraordinaire, quite visionary really and this gives me vomph to my step, bounces me out of bed so as to serve you all better. I love my digital life style and would love for you to experience the community, camaraderie, and cutting edge marketing techniques. The one thing I found very helpful about the community is that it allows me to be me, in all my authenticity and dynamic, where at the worst of my life, here I could just be. No pretence not a mask to put on just be. The fact that we help each other means that there were always times I felt good about myself too. So apart from all these tools that I have gained in the process of getting myself aware of the situation I was in - domestic violence - was probably the single most important factor. But you too have got there if you are reading this, so now lets move you forwards and onwards.  Look, I would love for you to meet my mentors, or perhaps you would prefer an explanation of the system via a webinar? Just hit the links or skype me.

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